Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
