They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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