He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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