tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
