Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
