his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
