we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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