She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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