My nipple is on Facebook.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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