Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
