So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
