apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
