Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just google imaged poop.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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