why didn't you poke me back
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
