If i come over, it means nothing
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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