What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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