This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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