She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
