You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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