i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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