you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dick very happy bro
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
