And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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