I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You left your phone here
Wait...
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