It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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