Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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