Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
