To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
