So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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