Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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