idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize