I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
