Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
