i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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