Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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