I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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