All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
