Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
