Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
