New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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