these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
