Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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