How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
