I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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