no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
