I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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