Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
