Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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