my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
