Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
