Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
