google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My vagina is very pro this idea
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
