First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
