Do vagina's smell?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
