So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
