I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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