jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
