i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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