so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
that may or may not have been my penis.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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