now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize