Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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